He didn’t want to kiss her

Over the weekend I spoke with a woman who said she had a kissing story.  I was thinking it would be about a particular style of kissing – either good or bad – because I hear a lot of those types of kissing stories.  But I was wrong.

What she discussed is much more serious in nature.  Style can be changed if both parties communicate.  But in this woman’s situation, she was with a man who wouldn’t kiss her.  When she was being “courted” by him, she said he kissed her and she recalled that he was, in her opinion, a good kisser.  But then, the kissing stopped.  He wouldn’t kiss her when they were making love – OR, prior to making love.  He just didn’t want to kiss. 

She asked him if it was her, was her breath bad, was it something she was doing while kissing that had turned him off, why did he not want to kiss??  He never gave her an answer and it continued to be a problem for her.  She told me that eventually that is one of the reasons they are no longer together.

This woman also told me she felt that kissing was one of the most intimate physical expressions and without it she was unable to get things going on the sexual side.  It was very important to her – she liked it and wanted it.  It turned her on; it was a very integral part of the relationship with this man – and it was missing. 

I’m not a psychologist, but from my own experience and from extensive research, it is my understanding and belief that people who have problems with intimacy do not like to kiss. 

If you are with someone who refuses to kiss, my suggestion would be to get outside expert help.  If you have determined the lack of kissing isn’t because of any hygienic issue or other physical problem, then the next step is to find out why this person doesn’t feel comfortable kissing.  And hopefully there will be some sort of solution. 

If you have been in this type of situation and come to a resolution, I would like to hear from you.